Hacking Cough of Death

Collin has his first cold and it's a good one - he's even managed to give to me. I think there is definitely some natural selection going on here because when he is sick he is 10X as cute, sweet and cuddly as normal. This prevents parents with a baby that has the hacking cough of death from leaving them in the woods to fend for themselves. Just today Andrea sat with him in the car, in the garage, for an hour because he had fallen asleep on the way home from somewhere and she didn't want to wake him. This is not normal behavior for adults, but normal for babies that have evolved to the point of being able to melt their parents' hearts while simultaneously hacking up globs of mucus with a constant stream of snot running out their noses and keeping us up all night.

We've so far managed to survive his first cold without taking him to the emergency room. I know that this is a typical response for sleep-deprived first-time parents, so we are doing our best. His evolution is so well tuned that the first night he had it, he slept through the night for the first time ever. We were ecstatic and couldn't believe it - colds are great! But he made up for it the next night when he wouldn't sleep unless one of us were holding him. Once we realized it was going to be a tough night I volunteered to take the brunt of it. Andrea had to go into the office the next day and I just had a few things on my to-do list working from home while the nanny was there. We took turns until about 3AM when Andrea handed him to me and said he wasn't hungry. I took him and started my usual ritual of trying to put him to sleep while Andrea was in the bathroom. I walked up and down the hall, I rocked him, I kept at it until he finally fell asleep while I was rocking him. Andrea had been in the bathroom for a really long time (not at all unusual) and I really needed to pee, so I put him down and used the one down the hall. When I came back Collin was crying, but still no Andrea. That was when I noticed her pillow was gone and knew that we were on our own. She had gone someplace else to sleep for a few hours without telling either of us.

This is obviously some highly evolved mothering instinct to trick the father into thinking she's right there ready to help. It worked and we all managed a little sleep. But next time I think I'll just stay in the car.

"Solid" Foods

Collin is 5 months old now and is well on his way to mastering the art of eating solid food from a spoon. Although I have no idea why they insist on calling it solid food. It is definitely mush and I am not giving him his solid food rating until he can eat Spam.

He started with rice mush a couple weeks ago, but broke out in hives and had little bumps all over his body so we stopped for a while then started back up with oat mush and now he's up to oat mush and banana mush twice a day. He's better with the spoon and will sometimes wait until we get it all the way into his mouth before he grabs it. He definitely likes the food and the percentage of food that makes it from spoon to stomach is going up steadily. He still makes a huge mess, but we no longer feel like we need to feed him in the driveway.




On another front, his nap routine has changed completely. I no longer have to go through the elaborate ritual I described in a previous post to get him to fall asleep. All I have to do now is hold him and walk around or rock him and he'll usually pass right out. He's also decided that there are 3 acceptable places to nap: the car, his stroller and laying on my chest. His crib did not make the list. I'll hold him for 5 or 10 minutes to make sure he is absolutely asleep, then I'll walk over to his crib and try and put him down. I can hold him 2" over the crib and he will be like a wet noodle, but as soon as his butt touches that crib his eyes pop open and a cry is soon to follow. I've tried patting his back, comforting him, everything. Pacifiers are useless - he'll just take it out of his mouth, look at it and then chew on the side. The only thing I can do is pick him back up and comfort him back to sleep. This goes on until he is obviously no longer sleepy or I give up and let him sleep on my chest.

To Bangalore we go

Once we were finished in Beijing we flew down to Shanghai for 2 days and looked at potential venues for another show. We didn't have much free time but did manage to get in a foot massage.














Once we finished in Shanghai it was time to make our way to India. Our flight took us through Singapore where we had a 6 hour layover. One of my lovely travel companions lived there for 2 years and gave me a whirlwind tour of the city. We went to a place where locals eat called a Hawker stall and had a great lunch.














We also walked down Orchard Road and took in some of the sights. I have to say it is definitely the most western city I have ever been too (outside of the West). We didn't have much time and I'm sure there is much more to see. So we headed off to Bangalore.

I must admit that I had pretty low expectations for Bangalore. In fact I don't think they could have been any lower unless I was going to Branson for a week of Mannheim Steamroller. Bangalore is way down in Southern India in the middle of the jungle and like most major cities it is over run with cows and monkeys. Cows are sacred in India which means they are allowed to eat from the huge piles of garbage that are also everywhere. The place is filthy and generally looks like it's falling apart. The power also goes out several times a day, so everything we did had to be run from generators. The hotel was very nice and as long as you stayed in your little bubble it was fine, but once you ventured outside you see complete abject poverty everywhere. I didn't venture far - just far enough to see the monkeys and cows. But we all survivied and no one got sick! I do have some nice things to say about it. The food (at the hotel) was great. They have the best tortillas ever (naan bread they call them) and the people we were working with were all fantastic. It's just not much of a place for tourism. Getting home was another adventure. I started a stopwatch when we left the hotel. We had to fly through Delhi. Normally when you have a connection you drop your bags off once, change planes in the middle and you're on your way. Not so in Delhi. They are 2 different airports. You claim your bags, wait in a line so they can check your name for international transfer, wait in another line to get on a bus (with your luggage) ride the bus for 30 minutes then start the whole check in over again. Once I was on plane and settled in the captain came on the intercom and said the words I had been dreading: "Our flying time to Chicago will be 15 hours and 50 minutes" AHHHHH! I did a pretty good job sleeping and it felt really good to get off the plane in Chicago. Quick 3 hour flight back to austin and I was home. 32 hours door to door! But anyway - it was a great trip and it's great to be home reconnecting with Andrea and Collin and I'm excited to turn this blog back over to the little guy! More to come...

Gates of the Harmonious Divineness

I've been home from Asia for about a week now and have had ample time to reflect upon my travels to write an honest, heartfelt entry about how much I loved the Forbidden City in Beijing and the city of Bangalore in General.

After we went to the Great Wall we went to the Olympic Village. Which was so awesome I can't bring myself to make fun of it. Although it did look taller on TV. Seeing the bird's nest and the water cube was probably the highlight of the whole trip. I definitely recommend that everyone go there as long as someone else is paying for your travel.

The Forbidden City and Bangalore are a different story and will not fare so well on my blog. Let's start with The Forbidden City. They call it that because men are forbidden to enter unless they are either castrated or have the patience to wait in line and buy a ticket. Even though the lines can be quite long, tickets are still the way to go, but back in the day the men were castrated to protect the bloodline of the emperor. I also heard they had a lot combines around but I didn't see any (didn't see any crops either). The city was home to the emperors of the Ming, Ping and Pong dynasties dating back to 1410 where they carried out all of their imperial duties and hung out with the Eunuchs and Combines. Once you go through the main gate you are greeted by a big courtyard surrounded by big ornate buildings with sloping roofs. There are also lots of tour groups wearing matching hats and following someone carrying a flag.

Someone made a bet with me to try and get someone to say "Go Texas" or something similar on video and the most fun I had there was goofing with the tour groups.


Once you cross the courtyard you can walk up to a big building and if you want, fight your way through the tour groups and look in the window. You can't go inside because it is forbidden. As far as I could tell each of these rooms has approximately 3 vases and 2 chairs and based upon the number of people trying to look inside they are of extraordinary cultural significance. Or maybe everyone else was doing what I was which was thinking that there must be something really cool in that room because there are 200 people trying look inside, but then you make your way to the window its just more vases and chairs. There are about 900 rooms like this with names like "The Hall of Glorious Harmony" and "Place of Heavenly Purity" or my favorite, "The Hall of Mental Cultivation". What was hard to find was "The hall of the heavenly toilet" or the "divine place to sit down for a minute".


I'm sure there was some fascinating history and culture there, but I missed it. I did find the Imperial gift shop where the Emperor bought his T-shirts and Yao Ming snow globes.































Across from the Forbidden City is Tiannenmen Square, where the big student uprising in the 80's took place and the iconic photo of the person standing defiantly in front of the tank was taken. There weren't any tanks there, but you can rest assured that security is still very tight. We ran across this officer standing guard to quell any unauthorized protests.














But it was very cool to stand there and take in the sights. We also had the bizarre experience of having people want to have their phot taken with us. It probably happened 6 or 7 times, where Chinese people (most likely rural) wanted a picture with one of us.














We also got our photo taken with the world famous Peking Duck!

Solid Foods

Collin is 4 months old now and while we were expecting to wait until 6 months to introduce solids his pediatrician said we should go ahead and start now. He's not sleeping through the night and something with a little more sustenance might help. So we gave it a try last night for the first time.

Since he's only ever eaten from a boob or a bottle, we expected a bit of a learning curve to get him to eat from a spoon. That is correct - it doesn't work very well. I really think a turkey baster would be easier, but he has to learn this sooner or later so it may as well be now. It goes something like this:

The first thing you feed him is a rice cereal paste and you can expect to get it everywhere. Strip the baby down to his diaper and put down a tarp. If the weather is nice I suggest using the driveway for the first few times. The goal is to get 3-4 tablespoons all the way into is stomach, but because the actual percentage of food that will make it from spoon to stomach is quite low (0.0001%) you need to make a lot more paste than needed. 3-4 gallons should do it. Once you have the paste, tarp and baby prepared, take the tiny little spoon and try and put it in the baby's mouth. Collin now has pretty good control of his hands, so he of course grabs anything you put near his mouth. The first few dozen spoon fulls will end up on his hands and ultimately in his hair. One of those speedo swimming hats or a shower cap might be a good idea, but we didn't think of that. Be persistent. Once you can get past the hands you can smear it on his face. This is getting closer. Eventually, after a couple of hundred tries you'll get the spoon in his mouth and he'll spit the food back out. But don't give up - eventually he'll actually start to suck on the spoon and and swallow some of it. The next problem is that he doesn't understand that we have to remove the spoon (unlike a nipple) to refill it. He just wants to keep sucking on the spoon. Once you pry the spoon from his mouth, refill and try again. It takes patience, but after a few hours he'll eat a few tablespoons worth.

Now all you have to do is hose down the baby and the tarp and you can get ready for bed. This is our new nightly ritual - until I can talk Andrea into using a turkey baster.

The Great Stairs Of China

After the show finished in Beijing we had a couple of days off and decided to go see the great wall and Olympic village. Since the great wall is one of the wonders of the world of the world I had pretty high hopes. It was about an hour drive from our hotel and I was a little disapointed at first. The first thing we saw was the Great Wall of Souvenir shops.














But we kept walking and finally came to the wall. It was not very impressive. I don't think the Mongols would have had a very hard time scaling it. I realize Asians are shorter than westerners but I could have stepped right over the thing.


















After a bit more walking we came upon the real Great Wall which is really more of a Great Stair Case. There are steps and steps and steps. It goes on forever and they obviously did not anticipate western tourists when they built this because the stairs vary in height from 2"-24" with no real rhyme or reason.














We went up the first few thousand steps when I came across this sign which I think means we should be on the lookout for anyone with a heart condition. I'm really glad we didn't, because if someone fell going up those steps they could have taken out several thousand tourists on the way down.














Cell phones are also forbidden but only during thunderstorms.














We climbed and climbed and climbed. And got tired. I really hoped there was a water slide that went down the back side, but you just had to turn around and go back the way you came.















But it was totally worth it. Once we reached the top we were greeted by - you guessed it - another souvenir shop that offered certificates for climbing the Great Wall but they also had beer.

Its an amazing sight and I have no idea how they mange to get all those souvenirs up there, let alone all the damn rocks it took to build the thing!











































I think next time I will opt for the Great Escalator of China!

Beijing Part 1

Since I'm not at home to follow Collin's shenanigans , I thought I would document my own for a while. It's 4:30 AM and I'm in Beijing. I'm up at 4:30 AM because I am suffering from a condition known as jet lag. That's when your body desperately thinks you are on one continent but your watch insists you you are on another. Luckily it generally only lasts until the day before you go home then you get to do it all over again. I set one big goal for myself on this trip. I am not going to get sick!! Every time I have been to Asia I have gotten sick to some degree. The only way to travel here and guarantee that you will not is to to bring your own food, water and air. This is not very practical so you just have to do the best you can. The first time I came here I got horribly sick the first couple of days and couldn't eat much for the rest of the trip. The thought of food just grossed me out and I lost 7 or 8 pounds. I also found out that I can survive for quite a while on nothing but beer and water. Part of the problem is that they have a small pollution problem. It's sort of like walking though a forest fire while sucking on a muffler. After 3 or 4 days you WILL be coughing up globs of stuff. Stomach issues are just as hard to avoid. But not this time!! I hope.

This is the first leg of a marathon trip that will also take me to Shanghai and Bangalore, India ultimately flying 26,000 miles and all the way around the world. This is my 4th trip to China but my first to Beijing and its quite a place. I really like China, mostly because it is absolutely jam packed with Chinese people - they still like Americans here and you see it everywhere you go. There are things you can take for granted in the US like telling a taxi driver where you want to go. You can't do that here, but you can take for granted people will be generally nice, hardworking and very eager to please. But the thing that sticks out is their attitude. There is none of the whining and complaining that I run across so often in my line of work. People will do whatever it takes.

Anyway, my trip started at 4Am on Halloween morning. I left for the airport, flew to Chicago, waited a couple of hours then flew to Shanghai. A 14 1/2 hour flight. I'm usually pretty good at sleeping on planes, but for some reason I didn't do well and slept maybe 3 hours total. I did watch half of The Lost season 4 and a couple of movies so it was time well spent but by the time I got into Shanghai I was completely wiped. I flew on American Airlines over but my flight from Shanghai to Beijing was on Air China. I had to claim my bags, go through immigration, then customs, then re-check in on Air China. I wandered through the terminal hopelessly searching for the Air China counters. I finally gave up and went to another airline to deliver my usual appeal for help when in foreign country. First: "do you speak English?" If yes, then, "hello, I am a stupid lost American, can you please tell me how to get to..." It turned out that I had to leave the terminal and take a bus to another one that looked exactly like the first one. So I went to the other terminal, checked in, went through security and barely made the flight. Air China is a lot like Southwest Airlines only without the big comfortable seats and tons of leg room. 3 hours later I finally made it to Beijing. About 28 hours total door to door.

I managed to sleep until 6:30 AM the next morning and felt pretty good. I didn't have any work to do that day so I decided to do a little shopping and sight seeing. I love taking the subways overseas. Much faster than a taxi and it's a whole adventure in it's own to figure out how to get where you want to go - also westerners don't usually use it, so I get to be the tallest person on a packed subway car. So I got a map and headed off for the big crazy market where they try to pull you into the stalls and you haggle endlessly over prices. The Chinese should have definitely forced having haggling as an Olympic sport because they would have cleaned up. Specifically I needed cell phones for myself and coworkers. They are cheap and it's better to just buy a local one than pay crazy US rates overseas. I did some good haggling, got some phones then met a nice couple from Canada. This was their first trip over and they were a little wide-eyed at the market scene. I helped them with the shopping for a couple of hours and got a few things for myself.

Afterwords, I had a little time to kill before my co-workers arrived so I went to the forbidden city. I didn't really want to go inside, I just wanted to see that big photo of Chairman Mao that we all saw so much of during the Olympics. I also saw Tiananmen square, so I can check those 2 off the list.

I headed back to the hotel, met up with my coworkers and then it was nap time. Our load in started at midnight that night and I knew I had several long days ahead of me. I'm in full work mode now for a couple of days (which means I go from my hotel room to the ballroom at about 7Am then back to my room at about 10PM - so no free time), but we have Friday and Saturday off. I'll do some more sight seeing then, then its off to Shanghai. More to come...

Teething and Sleeping

Colin is 3 1/2 months old now and there are a couple of things that are new with him. He is teething. We know this because he chomps down on anything you put near his mouth and there is a constant stream of slobber running out of his mouth.
His slobbering reminds me of this restaurant I once ran across in Shanghai:

There isn't much you can do for teething other than just clean up the slobber and give him things to chew on. No teeth yet, but they are coming for sure. The other, more problematic thing is that he no longer likes to take naps during the day. Sometimes he will. A long walk in the stroller will usually do it and a car ride is a 50/50 shot of either a nap or a screaming fit. Andrea can nurse him to sleep if he is really fussy, but we are trying to regulate his eating a little and if he just nurses for a 3 minutes and falls asleep that's not really a meal so he wakes up in about 15 minutes. So I've been working on this for the last week or so and have developed the master technique!

The most important thing to remember is that you yourself must be calm. Babies can sense weakness and any sign of irritation or fatigue will set them off. You must be rock solid calm. So before you accept the fussy tired baby, do whatever you have to do to get calm, unless of course that involves a nap, time alone, vacation, or anything else that requires you to not pick up the baby. Do your best.

1. You start with a fussy, squirmy tired baby. Probably crying. You know he's not hungry - he just needs a nap, but won't just fall asleep. The first thing you have to do is stop the crying. Usually holding him and walking around will do it. Often going outside helps. Sometimes distraction is key in which case you get out the toys or give him a pacifier or just a change of scenery.
2. Once the crying stops you have to stop the squirming. If he is not perfectly still he WILL NOT EVER go to sleep. It aint happening until he is still. For this step I use the football hold (see previous post) and let him suck on my thumb. Mine are bigger than his and they work better than any pacifier. They should make big thumb shaped pacifiers.
3. The next goal is to get the "seven mile stare". This can be the toughest step. I take him up to our bathroom and turn on the water in the sink (the sound calms him plus being near the sink is good for the slobber). Stand there gently swaying from side to side in the bathroom with the a baby sucking your thumb and the water running until you get "the stare" and he starts to get the blinks. Once you get the first blink you are home free as long as you don't get over confident and loose your cool.
4. If you clear your throat - go back to step one. His eyes will close once for a second or two, then pop back open. Keep swaying and exuding calmness. Blink two is usually a little longer and it is now safe to slowly remove your thumb from his mouth and slowly turn off the water, but DON'T move. Stay there swaying until you get blink 3. Then he is out. Unless the dog barks, then go back to step one.
5. After blink 3, SLOWLY walk into the bedroom (careful not to slip on the pool of slobber) and turn the ceiling fan on HIGH (for the noise). Your football arm will be tired by then so sit down and rest him on your lap rocking for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes it's safe to move him to his crib and gently put him down for a nice peaceful nap. Unless the doorbell rings, then go back to step 1.
   

Collin's Video Debut!

Toys!

Collin is 12 weeks old this week and has discovered toys. We have tons of stuffed animals, rattles, things that light up, teething rings, etc... Before now he has ignored all of it. Last week I came home from Seattle with a gift from his Aunt Mary and Uncle Paul. It's a stuffed, rattly, squeaky, little octopus thingy and he loves it! He'll grab it, pull on it, shake it, and of course put it in his mouth. It's officially his first toy! I don't have the heart to tell him that if he is anything like his dad this addiction will never end. This is just a gateway toy. It will lead to things with blinking lights, things that make noise, things that have wheels and he can push around, legos (I hope). Eventually he will get things he can ride on. I can't imagine what will be available in 10 years. It will surely escalate to bikes, computers, power tools, then ultimately cars and maybe even motorcycles. The price tags will go up and up and up until someday when he is hopefully paying his own bills he'll discover the greatest toy of them all: A baby of his own.

Pictures

Thank you cards!

Can you believe that we are still writing thank you cards. We did pretty good after the shower and were mostly caught up before the baby came, but after the baby its been a different story! She does a few every weekend and we are behind. I have suggested many times that the we write a bunch that say:

"Hey You!

Thanks so much for the wonderful gift for Collin! He loves it and uses it all the time! Hope to see you soon!

Love,
Andy, Andrea and Collin"

But Andrea is persistent and there will be a personal thank you card for every gift and she'll make it through the list hopefully before he leaves for college. But if you sent a gift and haven't gotten a card yet:

"Hey You!

Thanks so much for the wonderful gift for Collin! He loves it and uses it all the time! Hope to see you soon!

Love,
Andy, Andrea and Collin"

Collin-1 : Rental car-0

Here's an update from Andrea and Collin's trip out to San Francisco. But first a little advice for any future dad's out there: Never, ever, under any circumstances refer to your lactating wife as ol' Bessie. It's not funny, trust me.

Andrea, Collin and Katsumi decided to visit me for a long weekend during my recent 2 week trip to San Francisco. We opted to buy tickets on Southwest non-stop to Oakland rather than use miles and go to SFO with a stop in Dallas. Since this was his first trip - the fewer airports the better. I was obviously not traveling with them, but I hear it went well. Collin didn't mind the airports (he generally likes crowds and commotion), got right on the plane and went to sleep. No problemo.

His pooping schedule has changed over the last several weeks. He used to poop pretty much all the time, but they have gradually spread out. He'll now go 2,3 or even 4 days without letting one go. This is normal (or so they say). This of course means that the volume increases in direct proportion to the delay. What used to comfortably fill a diaper, now runs up his back and leaks everywhere. He let one go on the plane ride out. I told Andrea ahead of time that on a 737 the bathrooms have fold down changing tables. This is true in my experience, but somehow they ended up on a really old one with no table. So the flight attendant suggested that she just change him right there on the floor in the back of the plane where they keep the carts. She did. They got into Oakland around 9PM, got a rental car and headed for my hotel. The rental car company was out of super-mini-sub-compact cars so had to upgrade Andrea to a Volvo S80. Nice car, but didn't they notice the baby - bad move on their part? She made it to the hotel and we all crashed.

The next day Andrea, Collin and Katsumi drove into the city and did some sight seeing. I was working so I'm not sure what they did, but I would guess that it involved a lot of looking for a place to park, looking for vegan food (Katsumi is vegan), pushing Collin around in his stroller, and feeding and changing him. They also stopped by where I was working and I showed them around the site.

The next day was my day off. We went to a great restaurant in Berkeley for breakfast, then headed for golden gate park for a nice walk and to see some museums. Collin did NOT want to go into any of the museums so we admired them from the outside and had a nice walk. Then we headed over to Height/Ashbury for lunch.

I have spent a lot of time in San Francisco over the years. It's a great city and I love it, but if I get a day off, the first thing I want to do is GET OUT OF THE CITY. Drive north across the golden gate and there are mountains, the ocean, redwood forests, the whole wine country. It's great and I'll take that over concrete sidewalks any day. So we went North and found a nice place to see the ocean off of highway 1. It was a nice drive and we stopped to take in the scenery and snap a few photos.

We were about to leave when the bomb went off. The diaper was no match for this. We had no running water, no table, just the back seat of a lovely RENTED Volvo and a disposable changing pad. I volunteered and plopped him down on the nice leather back seat. I pulled off his soaked through clothes and diaper. This is when the back seat pretty much turned into a stinky peanut butter slip-n-slide. Andrea was in the front seat handing me baby wipes and counting down. 10 left, 7 left, etc... It was everywhere. When we were down to 2 left. I had to make a decision. One to get it out of his hair and the other for my hands. We put all the toxic waste in the trunk. Then just put new clothes on him and headed for the hotel. We were done for the day! We originally planned to meet up with a friend for dinner, but everyone was spent and we crashed. We all had to get up at 4AM to get them ready to go. They headed to the airport and I went back to work.

Overall the trip was a big success and we'll try it again for sure. Just not for my next big trip. I'm going to Beijing, Shanghai and Bangalore and will be gone for 18 days. I'd love for them to meet me in Beijing, but 14 hours on a plane with a baby? Nope - not this time!

More containers!

I thought I had seen everything in the baby-container industry. You have slings, baby bjorns, straps, leashes, cradles, pack-n-plays, cribs, swings, backpacks, bassinets and some stuff that doesn't really have a name, but all of them share the primary goal of baby-containment. I recently discovered that I have only scratched the surface of this booming industry! I have a tripped planned to San Francisco next week and will be gone for 2 full weeks. Andrea is planning to bring Collin out to visit and also bring our friend Katsumi along for help. Andrea has also returned to jogging which means she needed a jogging stroller. At last count there are approximately 417,000 different types of strollers priced between $10 and $1000. Really! there are $1000 baby strollers out there that, ummm, have wheels and allow you to push the baby around. After lot's of research we settled on one that, ummm, had wheels and let's us push the baby. We went for the BOB brand and many of you will know why Bob was an INSTANT sell for me. Once we had settled on the Bob Revolution, Andrea found one on Craig's list but it was a lightly used 2006 model. We actually sat down and discussed the pros and cons of a new 2008 model stroller vs. a slightly used 2006 model stroller. Andrea even went over and looked at the 2006 model, but opted for the '08. At that moment I realized that that there was no turning back and that my life (as I knew it a year ago) was over and I was officially a parent. It's a short step from that to AARP.

But anyway, during our research we discovered THE baby container to top all others. Allow me to present the "Hang your baby on the wall while you take care of business in a public bathroom" baby container:


Available at http://mommysentials.com/babykeeperbasic.htm

As a parent, how many times have you been in a public restroom with a baby and thought: "Gee, if I could just hang this baby on the wall next to the soap dispenser I could..." well you get the idea. Now you can!

We are holding off on that one, but Andrea has a stroller. And she has a plane ticket. And she has someone coming along to help. What could go wrong with a baby on a 3 hour plane ride, 2 airports, a rental car, a drive across San Francisco, a hotel and 2 days of fun in the city by the bay? I'll keep you posted.

Paving Miss Daisy

This post is not so much about what Collin has been doing but more about the long-term effects of sleep deprivation. I'll be the first to admit that things are not too bad. I've heard stories about babies that wake up every hour all night. We ARE lucky with his sleeping schedule. He will fall asleep around 10 or 11, sleep until 1 or 2, then sleep again until 4 or 5. The 4 or 5 AM one is the BIG one because that is when Andrea needs to feed him while also pumping. He starts crying, Andrea gently wakes me (with a kick) and asks if I wouldn't mind changing him. I get up and change him while Andrea gets herself hooked up to the milking machine. Then I hand her the baby and she carefully hooks him to one boob while the milking machine is going after the other. I go back to bed, but don't really sleep because I know that in about 20 minutes, they have to be moved back into bed and the milk has to be properly stored in their ever-so-special-bags and frozen in their special milk-freezer. After that, Collin may doze for another hour or 2, may sleep hard until 8 or may not go back to sleep at all. Only he knows and he doesn't tell us ahead of time. This may not sound too bad and really it's not - It's manageable and we are both able to function, but the human body needs 6-8 hours of solid sleep every night and that aint happening! It catches up and may cause a touch of delerium during waking hours.

A few years ago we were given the books THE COMPLETE FARSIDE by Gary Larson. A huge, 2 volume collection of every single Far Side cartoon. It's quite entertaining and I pulled one volume out a few weeks ago and Andrea and I both found ourselves flipping through it whenever we would sit on the couch. This is OK for brief periods of time, but there are over 3000 Far Side cartoons and you should really limit your exposure to a few a day at max. The other night, after making about half way through the 2nd volume, I had a very vivid dream that went something like this: Morgan Freeman is sitting atop one of those big road-paving machines with a huge smile on his face while Miss Daisy is being pulled into the rollers. The caption reads "Paving Miss Daisy". I have not seen that movie in at least 10 years and have no idea where this came from, but in my dream I was convinced that this was THE Far Side cartoon that should have been drawn but never was and Gary himself, whom I've never met, was in the dream and in total agreement. I have no idea what Gary even looks like, but if any of you know him please pass along my dream. Meanwhile I am going to put those books away and take a nap!

UPDATE: After reading this post Andrea told me that, while in college, Gary Larson came to her school and gave a presentation (on exactly WHAT- I have no clue). She said that one of the things that she remembers about his presentation is that he was thankful for having editors to keep him (mostly) out of trouble. One cartoon he submitted, but was ultimately rejected, was of a group of surgeons gathered around an operating table working on a person while a dog was sitting next to the table begging. HA! I think maybe the editors would have shut down the Paving Miss Daisy idea too.

He made it!

Collin and Anrdrea had their 6 week check up the other day which is a big milestone. It means that Collin has survived six ENTIRE weeks of having us for parents and his odds get better and better every day. We haven't dropped him or anything! Everyone said that this time would just fly by and it honestly feels like just a year or two ago that we had the little guy. But the calendar doesn't lie - it has only been 6 weeks. I'm sure we'll someday look back at this time and comment on how it flew by but we don't really feel that way now.

This is, however a big milestone. Andrea has been cleared to resume "normal physical activity" however neither of us are sure what exactly that means now that we have a baby. It does mean that she can go swimming and start doing yoga again which she is excited about. Collin has also reached some milestones. He can hold up his head and look around anytime he wants - although he really only does this when looking for a boob. He is getting better and better and burping and farting, although his favorite activities (eating, sleeping and pooping) are pretty much the same as they were 4 weeks ago. He still had little to no control of his arms and legs - they just flail around randomly when he is upset, but he can focus on things, make eye-contact and he smiles pretty often which I think is my favorite thing in the world.

But the big story is his weight. He shocked us when he weighed in at a hefty 13 lbs. 1 oz. which means he could officially qualify as a Chinese gymnast. He's completely outgrown all of the NB size clothes and almost all of the 1-3 month stuff. I'm also pretty sure that he use to have a neck, but it's been replaced by several chins. I really hope he gets his neck back so we don't have to change his name to Vinny.

Separation Anxiety

It's not unusual for babies to develop separation anxiety and Collin gets it sometimes. Certainly not from being separated from me - I'm just the goofy guy that holds him when he cries and makes funny faces - and it's not even really separation from Andrea but rather the holy boob that he misses. But I now know that parent's can get it too. My job requires me to travel quite a lot. The upside is that when I am not traveling I work from home, but a couple weeks ago I had to leave town for the first time. I didn't really want to leave them, but Andrea and I had not been working since he was born and I was pretty sure that if one of us didn't go back that sooner or later they would turn off the electricity, or even worse, the internet connection. So I did not put up a fight up a fight and left for a 3 day trip to San Francisco. Andrea, her dad and Collin took me to the airport and I came to the realization that there is a real possibility that our son will grow up thinking that his dad works at the airport.

Fortunately Andrea's parents, sister and her 2 kids had agreed to schedule a visit from the Midwest to overlap with my trip to SF. They were here for almost 2 weeks and we had great visit. The kids (9 and 11) both stink at monopoly but are otherwise awesome and we had a blast swimming, playing catch, popping balloons and terrorizing the poor cat. Andrea's parents got to meet their newest grandchild (#8) and they were a huge help holding down the fort both before I left and while I was gone. I can't imagine what it must have been like to raise 4 kids during the 60s and 70s before they invented Chinese take-out and the internet. But they obviously knew what they were doing and were great with Collin. We also had the courage to venture out of the house with the baby several times while they were here. Collin has been to our neighborhood pool and Barton Springs now although he has not been swimming yet. I'm not sure when it is OK to teach a baby to swim, but I thought we should wait a bit.

I was OK. It was tough to leave, but once I got on the plane I was back in work mode and things were fine. The bigger test is about to come. I have a LOT of traveling coming up this fall and Andrea has decided that she definitely wants to go back to work on September 2nd. She'll only go back 1/2 time to start and see how it goes, but that still means we have to get a nanny. We are thinking 8AM-1PM M-F, so Andrea can work from 9-Noon then hopefully do some work from home in the afternoons. We've already been through one nanny. She came in for a couple of test days 2 weeks ago then another couple of days this week. Things did not work out for a few reasons. So the nanny hunt is on! We have lots of books on parenting (ALL of which contradict the previous one) and many have advice on hiring a nanny. These are the primary things you should look for:

1. She should be someone you "click" with and generally enjoy spending time with.
2. She should share your parenting philosophy. But since we don't really have one that is sort of nebulous.
3. She should have lots of experience with children of the same age, have CPR training and have taken lots of classes on child care.
4. She should be energetic, fun, caring and respectful for how we want to raise our child.
5. She should enjoy house work, be a good cook, take care of the pets, anticipate what Collin needs and be able to read Andrea's mind.

The only problem is that:
1. This person does not exist
2. If she did, she would be making more money than either of us. and...
3. Andrea would almost certainly leave me for her.

So that leaves us with reality. We have to find someone that:
1. When we leave them alone together there is a very good chance that both the nanny and Collin will survive and things will be more or less how we left them.
2. Someone that reduces our stress rather than adding to it.

But I don't really think this is that tough of a gig. My philosophy is that if you just love him and feed him... the rest will sort itself out.

And the winner is...

And the winner of the 2008 Collin Diaper Poop-Off is.... Plain old pampers. We tried the G-daipers, huggies and actually took a cloth diaper out of the package and looked at it. We even tried the whole foods brand and although they are twice as expensive they don't actually work. We really wanted to like the G diapers but one of the leading reasons we use diapers is for poop-containment and the G diapers don't seem to be able to do that. It just runs out the side and gets all over the place. At this point I would have to rate them as a miserable failure.

We plan to try them again once he is bigger and has less frequent blow outs, but for now we are going to do our part to fill up the land fill. Sorry.

Marking your dad

I've recently become convinced that babies are born with instinctive urge to mark their dads. Similar to a dog marking his territory except babies have more than just pee at their disposal (although Collin makes good use of that technique). If they are really lucky they can mark us with leaky diaper, but their main tool is milk. They have a good supply of it and don't mind using a little for dad-marking. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing, what Collin is wearing or what protective measures I put in place. I can wrap him up like a burrito and cover myself with a blanket and he WILL figure out a way to get spit up on me. Sour milk stinks and possibly the only thing that smells worse is sour milk that has been thrown up. After just a couple hours of Collin time, he leaves absolutely no doubt that should I somehow end up holding another baby, there will be no question who this dad belongs to. I think I need a shower.

Gas Powered

So far I have been careful to let Andrea read everything I have written before posting. She has been kind enough to point out only the most grievous of spelling and grammatical errors while offering very little editorial control, which she has. But this time, I'm going it alone because both Collin and Andrea have gas - BIG TIME. As I've previously mentioned, Collin can really let it rip and does so many many times a day. He has no shame, offers no excuses and they usually result in a diaper change which he accepts.

Having someone other than the dog to blame farts on was one of my primary motivations for reproducing but Andrea is content to fess up every time she lets one loose. But while Collin's are explosive and uncontrollable, Andrea could, I thing with a little effort, fart her way through the first couple verses of the Star Spangled Banner. The dog and I are both impressed by their display of flatulence. I've never seen anything like the two of them together: farting, eating, sleeping and loving each other. It's all amazing.

Bunch of Pictures

Collin, me and cousin Nate from Detroit. He is both a fan of the Longhorns and some hockey team. The Detroit Car Tires? I'm not sure.












Collin's Great Aunt Judy













One of the TWO photos that Andrea has taken since he was born!!! She pisses me off - I could take a thousand and not get this.













This was day 1













The other photo Andrea has taken.











Collin's first trip to our favorite Mexican restaurant, they know us and made a big fuss. Collin didn't get to have any migas (yet).















Sarah and Nate with Collin - (note the Spurs shirt - the kid has taste even though he is from Detroit)










Andrea's sister and Nate and Sarah's mom Kristen. She's great!














Sarah and Collin