My life has gone to poop

Over the last week or so I have realized that my life is poop! Not in the bad, depressed, "my life has gone to s**t" way, but in the good, "I spend a large part of every day cleaning up poop that I did not create" way. Totally different, and Collin is not the only contributer, although he certainly does his part. He has definitely hit his stride with 10-12 deposits per day! Oh Yeah, he's good. I could quote statistics and percentiles, but I ABSOLUTELY refuse to be one of those guys who shows up at the office everyday and brags about their son's poop. Nope, not me. I don't clean them all; Andrea certainly does her fair share, but I try and do as many as I can. It's only fair that if she provides ALL of the input I should try and keep up on the output. But I will warn you, if you come to visit and Collin makes a diaper biscuit while you are holding him, it's all yours!

But it's the pets that turn it into a true poop lifestyle. I like to take our dog Pablo to the neighborhood park everyday where he is almost certain to make a contribution that I get to pick up. And if it's not there it's in the back yard. There are also the drive-by dogs who like our front yard. I've become somewhat obsessed with stopping these. I've even hung a roll of poop bags from a tree out front that clearly say "thank you for picking up after your dog" right on the bag. I don't mind at all that dogs poop in our front yard. I'll even take it as a compliment. It's a nice, inviting, peaceful spot of grass - I've been tempted myself. But do their owners step up and scoop the poop? Nope, still my job. I've yet to catch an owner in the act of leaving it, but I will and there will be hell to pay when I do. Our cat lester is the other major factor. He has a litter box, but often prefers the bathtubs. Those are the worst of all and usually strike first thing in the morning.

But even after all that, I'm not bitter. I'm OK with my place in life as the poop guy. As the saying goes "when life hands you poop, you should... uhhhhh... be quiet and just keep cleaning up the poop".